We All Live and Learn
(Nick Drake - One of These Things First)

So I just started reading Shampoo Planet last week, one of the few Coupland books I’ve yet to read, and I opened the book and saw his autograph. I had totally forgotten that I had met Doug last year and he had signed 3 or 4 books of mine. Just inside the front cover he wrote,

"Khiem,

Well, we all live and learn.

Douglas Coupland"

I sat and pondered for a minute, if this was just something he signed every time someone asks him to autograph this particular book, if this was a generic spur of the moment comment from an eccentric man, or if somehow he intuitively knew that I had made a few mistakes in my life. I really don’t know but somehow I’d like to imagine that Dougie knows and understands some of the things I’ve went through in years past.

It could also be that Dougie is trained in the art of writing horoscopes and likes to leave ambiguous messages that seem to apply to everyone. Everyone has lived and learned through adverse events in their lives. No one’s life has been perfect. The difference between you and I is the level of adversity we’ve had to endure. It would be great if we could actually track all of it and compare with each other to see who’s lived the tougher life.

"Man, last year was rough for me, I went through a terrible break-up with my girlfriend."

"Sorry, I think me having to pull the plug from the life support machine that was keeping my comatose girlfriend alive trumps your break-up."

Here’s a great idea for psychologists, create a mental health point system where everyone is assigned a value. The value is determined at an early age through some psychological tests. As we progress in life, we keep track of all the adverse events that have affected us. Depending on the adverse event and the value given to it, we subtract that value from our initial mental health value. Every year you report this value to your psychologist and he determines according to some predetermined scale whether you’re mentally healthy or on the verge of insanity. If you’re on the verge of insanity, you get to go away to a camp where they use some proven psychotherapy treatment for post-traumatic stress and you get to roast marshmallows around a campfire. They’ll have all those revolutionary treatments like shock, drug therapy and canoeing!

And when you come back you feel like a new person. You might even feel self-actualized. They redo some tests and give you a new mental health score and you’re sent back into society feeling happy again!

I'm rambling, I know.